A race and the feeling after

I made it, and I couldn’t be prouder! I ran 21km in 2:25:42, a personal best. It was challenging to get there and I will never forget how hopeless I felt my last run before the race. How supportive my boyfriend was and how much shit he took from me in order for me to complete my training. I was lucky, I had no serious injuries along the way and to be honest I believe I could’ve pushed myself more, but overall I’m so proud of myself and of what I achieved that I can think back on that day and be happy.

My team ❤️

Now the time after the race was tough. I felt lost, unmotivated and without a goal. Why train? Why work out? How quickly you forget the greatest feelings in the world… I went for a couple of runs… 2 to be exact and was in serious knee pain… I tried to get to the gym but I felt useless… and then… well then it took another turn.

I still don’t really have a goal, I have small part goals that I work on. The first one I achieved last week. Squat pushes hahah is it even Called that?!? You go down in a squat and then push up the weights you have above your head. I couldn’t do those but now I can. The next goal is 5 push-ups on my toes… I can do half a one hahaha 😆 but yeah I’m trying.

I’ve also been running… one cold ass run in November and I loved it. Today I need to remind myself of that feeling and head out for my second run.

It’s so tough running in the cold but having a group that motivates you and where you cannot stop helps!

This is how happy I was after!

I guess motivation is inside all of us, we just have to find the triggers and turn them on we are lacking motivation.

94 days to go: walking the 21 km

Today my dad and I printed the map for the Stockholm half-marathon to walk the path and see where I will run in 94 days.

It was nice, the sun was out and for the first time since I got here I didn’t need to wear a jacket or sweater which of course is a huge plus… I mean it is summer after all.

It scares me how long it is though. At km 13 I was so tired! I just wanted to sit down and rest my tired feet and shins. I hope that the inlays I’ll be getting will help my tiny feet.

This city is stunning. I’ve discovered new places where I wish I lived… also ate delicious Swedish Daim ice cream!

At km 17 my dads knee gave up so we called it a day and returned home. I really need to star running more but I’m so tired at the moment. Hopefully this will improve once I get back to Munich and back to my routine.

96 days to go: Backstreet Boys

I remember listening to BSB in my room growing up. I remember literally everyone’s crush on Nick Carter. I remember how cool I thought AJ was because he had sunnies on all the time. Therefore, when my friend offered me a ticket to the Backstreet Boys concert I couldn’t say no, I mean who would say no to some 90s nostalgia!… definitely not me!

During the day I managed to get a 5km run. I’m struggling. My shin splints are fucking baaaad! And besides that hellish pain, my legs feel heavier than before and my breathing is not where it was before my two weeks sickness leave. I struggled but used BSB to get through the worse!

When your mom acts as your photographer 💋

I tried to keep my mood up by helping mom with some plant planting. I’ve never had a green thumb, but seeing mom there struggling with the hard earth I knew I had to help, and it was fun! This planting day is organized by the people that live in the neighborhood so they have to do it all on their own, which is quite good because it makes people more serious about the plants there… you start caring about the plants and the fruits that might grow.

I seriously consider changing my job to something more physical. It’s so much fun to work with your body! Why didn’t I feel like this when I was young?!? I hated doing things with my body and now I love it!

After the gardening I met with my friend who has been volunteering in Ghana as a nurse. It’s been 8 week since we saw each other and we had so much to catch up so we took a quick bite before heading to the arena where BSB was going to rock our socks!

It was so much fun! I felt like I was 12 again screaming all the songs! The guys are also still giving it all which is pretty impressive. I read a lot of reviews saying that it was strange having 40 year old men sex dancing to screaming girls but like honestly most of the women screaming where around their age as well… either way it was hilarious and we had so much fun! All in all another great day in Stockholm.

99 days and shopping

After struggling with my tummy problems I’m finally starting to feel better. Though after last nights excursion and only sleeping 4 hours I couldn’t bring myself to working out.

But I thought that shopping is exercise so I asked my mom to join me on an adventure to the biggest mall in Sweden: Mall of Scandinavia. That place is heaven and hell combined into a wonderfully big building way too far from home.

All in all we clocked in 10.000 steps, new training clothes and new undies! No training but still successful I would say.

100 days to go

I’m still weak from this stomach bug 🐜 so training has been put aside. I am on the other hand starting to panic slightly… how will I ever manage 21km when I can’t even work out when I’m sick… I feel like fit people manage to train despite being ill.

I instead spend my sick leave watching sex and the city and going on J Balvin concerts…

My thoughts on mr. Balvin? It was fun, despite the fact that I lost my friends I got to dance a bit with some people I didn’t really know…which is sort of what his music is about enjoying the music and the dance. I must say that it do think he could learn to sing some of the parts of the people that are featured on his songs instead of just dancing through those parts… like specially since so many of his most famous beats are “feat.” songs.

After finding my friends again we headed over to ones aparment where we played games into the wee hours of the next morning…

Stockholm this time of year has my heart melting… the light… the light is just so nice. These pictures are from 4 in the morning and it’s just so bright 🥰

Now I just need to get back on the work-out train to manage 21km in 100 days

Im not injured I’m just built wrong

I got the results back from my MRI… luckily nothing is bad or at least it isn’t bad enough to keep me from completing the half marathon. What we thought was a meniscus injury turned out to be a crooked knee… so like my new found muscles are pulling my already crooked knee causing swelling and pressure on points where previously there was none because I was a lazy ass person…

To help the knee get some rest I got this beautiful band on it for two days… the under layer of it was this wet thing that is almost like chalk when it gets dry… soon I’ll get some rehab for the knee to work on the muscles so that the knee stays where it is supposed to!

“Luckily” I’ve been tummy sick… like badly… so I haven’t needed to wear pants on top of this or anything… just been in bed feeling sorry for myself…

I can’t believe it’s 103 days left and I can’t work out because of not being able to eat anything 😭

Loss of motivation

Last week was tough. I just didn’t want to run. The weather was great so it wasn’t that I didn’t have opportunities, I just couldn’t bring myself to get out and run, and if I did bring myself out I couldn’t push myself to run neither fast nor long. Basically I felt quite down. I felt like nothing had happened in my body despite training regularly for 6 weeks now.

So my solution to this lack of motivation. Actually the solution came from my boyfriend and friends. They convinced me to do other things, things that had nothing to do with training and just was about having fun.

We drove to Austria for a little car drive, the weather was great hence the dress, but I can’t believe how much snow is still left up there considering how warm it is.

We made homemade burgers and watched Killing Eve! I’m so happy my boyfriend loves the show as much as I do! Villanelle is the best anti-hero ever!

On Monday I had a whole day on the bike and in the sun with my girlies! We went for brunch and then to a Biergarten and then just to a park to sit in the sun.

At night I met up with my boyfriend and we had some delish sushi before we went home to watch game of thrones (omg people game of thrones!!!)

Doing things completely different from your normal life. Enjoying life! That’s where you get your motivation! I ran on Tuesday (inside) and on Wednesday I had a PT Session where my trainer commended my effort and was saying how strong I’ve become and how impressed he was! And today I have a rest day and then tomorrow I have another PT Session! I’m ready to give this marathon training another go!

Im breaking

So I promised I’d go for a run so I did. For the first time ever I felt like my stamina could do far more than body. My legs… like my right shin is just aching with every run step I take and when I decide to walk to rest my shin my goddamn left knee hurts… I feel like running has broken me. I feel shit to be honest. I’m not the best runner, I’m not fast or can’t run long but I love what running gives me. The happiness, calmness the freedom… but now I don’t know I feel let down by my own body.

Wednesday 17/04/2019

6km run in 40 mins. Slow and rather painful

Treat yo’self

Equally as important as it is to train it is to at times treat yourself. Maybe not as Tom and Donna do in parks and recs, where they go on a shopping spree (or well also like that) but more importantly to treat yourself with non materialistic things that make you happy.

For me a big part of overall happiness is food. Food and spending time with people I love. So today me and boo went to a lake in the vicinity of Munich and had a really good lunch and some even better ice cream 🍦

I had a chicken salad while boo had a steak 🥩

The weather was amazing and for the first time we could sit outside and eat… there really isn’t many better things than sitting outside in the sun enjoying great food with the person you love the most.

After the ice cream we drove home, listening to music with the windows rolled down…a true treat yo’self Saturday

That feared first run

I’ve been pushing the idea of my first outside run out of my brain and out of my work out routine for long enough. Today I thought if I don’t start running outside today it might be too late.

I don’t want to stand there in May starting to run outside when my first 10k race ever is in the end of June. So I put on my running shoes and socks (the socks are oh so important)! And headed out…

I felt the warmth of the air against my skin, the wind push me backwards when all I wanted was to go forward and my legs getting heavier and heavier for each step. I looked at all the other runners in the park and envied their ease and lightness as they passed me…. it wasn’t a good run my first run, it was tough and it was sweaty and partly disappointing but I did it!

2,8 miles or 4,6km in 34 mins… yeah not good at all…

I’m reading this book called “Running like a Girl” by Alexandra Heminsley about her training before her first marathon – she says her dad gave her the tip of writing down her feelings after each run so here it goes:

Saturday 16/03-2019

4,6km, felt like my legs could do more than my breathing. Struggled to convince my mind that I could go on for longer and walked long parts of the run. All in all disappointing.