A race and the feeling after

I made it, and I couldn’t be prouder! I ran 21km in 2:25:42, a personal best. It was challenging to get there and I will never forget how hopeless I felt my last run before the race. How supportive my boyfriend was and how much shit he took from me in order for me to complete my training. I was lucky, I had no serious injuries along the way and to be honest I believe I could’ve pushed myself more, but overall I’m so proud of myself and of what I achieved that I can think back on that day and be happy.

My team ❤️

Now the time after the race was tough. I felt lost, unmotivated and without a goal. Why train? Why work out? How quickly you forget the greatest feelings in the world… I went for a couple of runs… 2 to be exact and was in serious knee pain… I tried to get to the gym but I felt useless… and then… well then it took another turn.

I still don’t really have a goal, I have small part goals that I work on. The first one I achieved last week. Squat pushes hahah is it even Called that?!? You go down in a squat and then push up the weights you have above your head. I couldn’t do those but now I can. The next goal is 5 push-ups on my toes… I can do half a one hahaha 😆 but yeah I’m trying.

I’ve also been running… one cold ass run in November and I loved it. Today I need to remind myself of that feeling and head out for my second run.

It’s so tough running in the cold but having a group that motivates you and where you cannot stop helps!

This is how happy I was after!

I guess motivation is inside all of us, we just have to find the triggers and turn them on we are lacking motivation.

92 days to go: I’m home

It felt sad leaving today. The sun was shining and it was already 20 degrees at 6 am. At the same time it feels so nice to be home. To be back to normality.

Now I can’t wait to get started with working out 💪

93 days to go: shopping is exercise right?

With 93 days to go and absolutely wonderful weather I should’ve gone running. But as dear Samantha says in my favorite show SATC: could’ve, would’ve, should’ve.

Instead of running I went shopping! I went a little crazy and went all out! Think I bought a bikini and 7 new tops!

That must count as a work out right?

94 days to go: walking the 21 km

Today my dad and I printed the map for the Stockholm half-marathon to walk the path and see where I will run in 94 days.

It was nice, the sun was out and for the first time since I got here I didn’t need to wear a jacket or sweater which of course is a huge plus… I mean it is summer after all.

It scares me how long it is though. At km 13 I was so tired! I just wanted to sit down and rest my tired feet and shins. I hope that the inlays I’ll be getting will help my tiny feet.

This city is stunning. I’ve discovered new places where I wish I lived… also ate delicious Swedish Daim ice cream!

At km 17 my dads knee gave up so we called it a day and returned home. I really need to star running more but I’m so tired at the moment. Hopefully this will improve once I get back to Munich and back to my routine.

95 days to go: Peruvian Birth-day

Wow my shins are feeling all the standing and walking of these couple of days. First I thought that it was only due to the running but then I remembered I’ve basically stood up straight or dancing for two concerts (and the time before the concerts) that is: 9h of standing/dancing in less than a week. No wonder my legs are sore and tired.

Anyways, today was the day I did what I actually came to do here. My parents have for some time felt like it was time for my sister and I to accept our dual nationality and become Peruvian. For my sister the process is quicker since she was born there and has a birth certificate that is Peruvian. For me… well I had to be born again…

The process was smooth and now I have to wait a couple of months before all the papers are processed and I’m officially a Peruvian. But the third of June will from now on be the birth of my dual nationality… the day my inscription to the books was made… it’s strange, because I’ve only identified as Swedish, that is my whole identity. I’m calm as a Swede, I compromise like a Swede, I am Swedish. I guess becoming Peruvian doesn’t change that but for a while I did. I thought that accepting the Peruvian nationality would make me less Swedish but in the end doesn’t change who I am, but it does make bureaucratic things in peru easier.

It’s nice to be able to make these two happier ❤️

Momma and me ❤️

After the embassy, we took a boat ride. I love going on boats and then for a quick bite to celebrate me becoming Peruvian… funnily enough with Chinese food! But hey! We do live in a globalized world.

96 days to go: Backstreet Boys

I remember listening to BSB in my room growing up. I remember literally everyone’s crush on Nick Carter. I remember how cool I thought AJ was because he had sunnies on all the time. Therefore, when my friend offered me a ticket to the Backstreet Boys concert I couldn’t say no, I mean who would say no to some 90s nostalgia!… definitely not me!

During the day I managed to get a 5km run. I’m struggling. My shin splints are fucking baaaad! And besides that hellish pain, my legs feel heavier than before and my breathing is not where it was before my two weeks sickness leave. I struggled but used BSB to get through the worse!

When your mom acts as your photographer 💋

I tried to keep my mood up by helping mom with some plant planting. I’ve never had a green thumb, but seeing mom there struggling with the hard earth I knew I had to help, and it was fun! This planting day is organized by the people that live in the neighborhood so they have to do it all on their own, which is quite good because it makes people more serious about the plants there… you start caring about the plants and the fruits that might grow.

I seriously consider changing my job to something more physical. It’s so much fun to work with your body! Why didn’t I feel like this when I was young?!? I hated doing things with my body and now I love it!

After the gardening I met with my friend who has been volunteering in Ghana as a nurse. It’s been 8 week since we saw each other and we had so much to catch up so we took a quick bite before heading to the arena where BSB was going to rock our socks!

It was so much fun! I felt like I was 12 again screaming all the songs! The guys are also still giving it all which is pretty impressive. I read a lot of reviews saying that it was strange having 40 year old men sex dancing to screaming girls but like honestly most of the women screaming where around their age as well… either way it was hilarious and we had so much fun! All in all another great day in Stockholm.

97 days to go: Stockholm marathon motivation

Today I got a taste of how it will be for me in 97 days. Mom and I headed to the city before all the buses in the inner city would be stopped as the marathon would take place in the inner city. Everywhere we went we saw people with sports clothes, many nervous faces! I felt with them and wanted to wish them all a safe and happy experience but I was too shy to go up to people and be like: “good luck! You guys are awesome”.

I needed to take a picture for Monday’s adventure of becoming a Peruvian person. My parents didn’t do this when I was a child because at that point in Time they never thought they would be living there again. They also had more important things going on as securing the Swedish nationality. So in the end, I only ended up with the Swedish passport. A passport I love with my whole heart. It gave my parents a second chance at life, it gave me my open values and calm nature. I’ve realized that having the Peruvian passport won’t change that but it is still with a bit of resentment that I do this process. But I do it for them, because it’s important for my parents.

I ended up looking extremely serious on my picture… it almost looks like I’m biting my cheeks… oh well who cares anyways!

Afterwards we headed back home and actually saw the race from home (they were showing it on the tv). Watching the Stockholm marathon my thoughts and feelings were all over the place. I feel like I will be so stressed about being alone there before the race starts, I’m still not sure I can even manage to run 10KM since I struggle with that. I’m stressed about it! At the same time I long for it! Long for the feeling of running of the streets of my hometown, accomplishing something I’ve poured my heart and soul in! I’m extremely excited… and scared!

98 days to go and 9 km of torture

My father finally forced me to get back on the horse and back into training. Together we ran 9 km in the nearby forest that I’ve known since I was a child.

My legs where so heavy, my breath tense, the first 5km where an outright struggle. I was slow, not lifting my legs enough, struggling with a stitch and yeah all in all not good. But we managed! And I’m happy I did because to treat myself after I went for ice cream

After the ice cream my friend and I went on an adventure! We took a boat to a random place and just walked around there… traveling by boat is the best thing in the world. The sunshine, the air, the blue sky and the great company! It was exactly what I needed after those tough 9 km.

I’m falling in love with this city again

99 days and shopping

After struggling with my tummy problems I’m finally starting to feel better. Though after last nights excursion and only sleeping 4 hours I couldn’t bring myself to working out.

But I thought that shopping is exercise so I asked my mom to join me on an adventure to the biggest mall in Sweden: Mall of Scandinavia. That place is heaven and hell combined into a wonderfully big building way too far from home.

All in all we clocked in 10.000 steps, new training clothes and new undies! No training but still successful I would say.

100 days to go

I’m still weak from this stomach bug 🐜 so training has been put aside. I am on the other hand starting to panic slightly… how will I ever manage 21km when I can’t even work out when I’m sick… I feel like fit people manage to train despite being ill.

I instead spend my sick leave watching sex and the city and going on J Balvin concerts…

My thoughts on mr. Balvin? It was fun, despite the fact that I lost my friends I got to dance a bit with some people I didn’t really know…which is sort of what his music is about enjoying the music and the dance. I must say that it do think he could learn to sing some of the parts of the people that are featured on his songs instead of just dancing through those parts… like specially since so many of his most famous beats are “feat.” songs.

After finding my friends again we headed over to ones aparment where we played games into the wee hours of the next morning…

Stockholm this time of year has my heart melting… the light… the light is just so nice. These pictures are from 4 in the morning and it’s just so bright 🥰

Now I just need to get back on the work-out train to manage 21km in 100 days